Bittersweet Road



“I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not in my nature.”

Jane Austen put to words what I could not for so long. As I say goodbye to the kids that I have poured my heart, soul, and energy into, my heart literally feels as though it is breaking. Never before have I felt so attached to a group of kids. Never before have I felt so completely and totally loved by a group of kids. Never have I loved so many so much. I find that I am asking the Lord, almost on an hourly basis, “How am I supposed to do this?”

How do you say goodbye to the ones you’ve laughed with day in and day out? How do you say goodbye to the ones who taught you more than you’ve ever learned in your entire life? How do you say goodbye to little souls that you have prayed and wept for?

I continue to come up empty when searching for the answer.

I said goodbye to one friend who went to be with the Lord four years ago at the young age of 24. I know what it is to lose loved ones. And while I am blessed to know that these kids will continue in their life, it still feels as though I am saying goodbye to them for good. I know full well that I will surely never see some of them again, at least not on this earth.

It is so impossibly difficult to put into words the emotions of knowing you’ll never see some one again.

And yet, there is always the most incredible hope that they will be carried after this life to a place where I can see them. There is no hope like the hope that Christ Jesus brings to us. He is most certainly faithful.


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