Two months ago my pastor began a sermon series on the roles of men and women in the church, home, and life. It was a very interesting series especially hearing the two different views of men and women. Two weeks ago the hurdles of women were addressed. He said that women’s two main hurdles are comparison and perfection. I agreed with him as he explained these hurdles, but he never explained why these are hurdles to women specifically. So I sought the Lord for wisdom and it all made sense.
When we look back at the creation of Eve we see that her purpose was to help Adam. Thus we see that women’s purpose is to be a helper. Putting the two points together of purpose and hurdles led me to this:
Women compare because we want to make sure we are doing it right. We are the helpers, but how do we know we are doing it well? We want to be sure that the help we are giving is indeed helpful.
Titus 2 tells us to learn from older women and teach the younger women how to be Godly, helpful, uplifting women, showing that women were meant to guide other women in how to be helpers. Women love pinterest, blogs, magazines, etc. because we want to learn from someone. We want to know how to do well at being a woman. We compare ourselves because we are asking unconciously, “Am I doing this right?” We pine after what we see online, on tv, in magazines because that is the place we find out how to be women. Culture has become the guide to women in what they should be and what they should be doing. However, God has always meant the Christian community to be the source of influence in women’s life. The church is supposed to help show women what it is to be a woman, to be a helper.
Women are perfectionists because we want to do our jobs well. Think about being a helper. If you are helping someone, you don’t want to let them down; you want to do your best because it affects the person you are helping. It’s one thing to work for yourself, but another to help someone else on their work. There is much more pressure and stress on performing well because in the end it affects those that you are helping and not just yourself.
These are women’s struggles because we want to please those we are serving whether it be husbands, parents, or God. We want to be an aid, not a burden.
These are our struggles not because we are so conceited and vain but because we just want to please SOMEONE. If we don’t please SOMEONE we most definitely can’t please ourselves because it has never been about us in the first place. It has ALWAYS been about others because we are helpers.
Think about the things women work on:
All of those things are rooted in pleasing others. Image has to do with being pleasing to the eye of others. Reputation has to do with being accepted by those we want to please. Hosting has to do with pleasing others in your ability to maintain a home well, and motherhood has to do with pleasing children, in-laws, and husbands. It all revolves on “Am I pleasing others? Am I helping them well?”
Helpers want to please the Helped. If we aren’t pleasing the Helped then we feel worthless and purposeless. The world is so harsh on women, when all they really need is a soft word. Women don’t need to be yelled at and told how foolish or vain they are. All women need is to hear these few words:
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
YOU HAVE DONE EVERYTHING I’VE ASKED.
There’s so much more to women than superficial stereotypes. Women are beautiful, strong-hearted, tremendously valuable treasures. Women are fragile and weak, but they are also the strongest lovers and the bravest fighters.
Women were never meant to be mocked and belittled. They are the most complex creatures on the earth, I believe, and I’d venture to say it’s because they are so much deeper than the credit given to them. God wired women in such a beautiful unique way that should be praised instead of criticized and teased. The Lord looks down at his children and doesn’t see man vs. woman. He sees the heart of each child and loves them for what He made them to be. These are the real struggles of women because deep down there is a holy desire to be a good helper. The enemy has twisted women’s desire to be a good helper, but Christ will redeem that holy desire. He will redeem it and all that has been stained with sin. He is our Holy Savior, Sweet Rescuer, our Glorious Redeemer. He loves women being women, and He would have them to know that He is proud of them. The are beautiful in His eyes most when they are turning their holy desire to help towards him, asking him “How can I please you with this innate desire in my heart to help and please?”
Oh beloved daughter, you are enough. You are doing a wonderful job at loving others and pouring yourself out. Your work has not gone unnoticed. Your sacrifice and exhaustion are not to be unrewarded. You are holy, sacred, and treasured. He sees you, and He says already, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” He is pleased with you sweet daughter. He is pleased with you already, just as you are. Tired, worn, burned out. He will take your hand with joy and say, “I can help you finish this race.” He is with you in those early mornings. He is with you in those late nights. He is with you in those heart-crushing moments. He is with you. Just remember, the best is yet to come.
Fragile. Weak. Feeling.
Infused with courage and passion.
Strong. Resolute. Wise.
“Her worth is far above jewels.” Proverbs 31:10